"Too much abstract thought makes a man cruel" - Dostoyevsky

As I sat yesterday in a tin hut, beads of sweat dripping from me, mouth parched, I couldn't help but think of advice I was given before leaving Australia.

Surely this advice was given out of good intentions.

'do not to give hand-outs. Attempt to arrest the idea that the 1st world is the only way out. Plus it is not sustainable to keep giving. They have to learn that we are not the caregivers.'

'We do them an injustice by continually giving all the time.'

At the time I agreed.

It is not right that we should be seen as a vacuum of prosperity. They have to learn to do it for themselves. Africa has far and away enough resources to lift itself out of its predicament. They do need a bit of tough love. Plus there are bigger and better ways. Lobby parliment, stop bribery, increase education, better public health measures.

Every educated person knows this is how real change occurs. Trouble is that the educated person is not looking into the eyes of those in desperate need.

Coming to Kangemi again I realise that slum life is a struggle. You have to fight for every day. Give in for a brief hour and it could see you loose everything to the sly thief trying to make his living.

In th hut the heat was getting a little unbearable. Seeing I was struggling one went off to purchase some cool lemonade - perhaps they were feeling it too.

I remained and decided to do the maths in my head as we chatted.

I thought it through .....For any well paying job you earn $280 a mnth. That works out to be about $9 a day. Pay $180 in rent for your tin hut; leaving only $100 for food, electricity and education for your children. Oh and I nearlly forgot, you are the only one working in your extended family so they need some money just to eat too...... In the end you are struggling each week just to keep your head above water. Any investment in the future is impossible and buying your way out of the rent cycle and hence the slum - never! Remember this is for a WELL PAID employed individual - a rarity in the slum.

She arrived back pouring the coke (there was no lemonade left) and sat and watched as I drank. The kids so excited that mum had bought some 'soda' started running around.

We sat and chated for a while longer.

I told them of my house in Australia.

"How many rooms do you have?" They asked excitidly. And do you have a bathroom in the house? I didn't know exactly how to respond.

It was at that moment that I realised Australians have everything. Can I say this is because of something I have done? I mean I have never worked as hard as these people. It is a gift of nationality.

Thinking again of the words from Australia - the words of those educated amoung us.....I realised I could walk out and justify myself - it would be actually quite easy to disengage my heart and engage my brain, but really when you put yourself in their shoes, in their tin hut, in their family situation, in their job, - justification is the last thing that you want to do.

Being educated allows us to form a detachment towards reality. You can easliy tell someone the best way to employ change is to lobby government to employ best practice public health measures etc, but this isn't what the individual needs.

They need your love right there in the heat of the daily struggle.